When You Are the Leader, Someone Will Always Be Angry With You
Gwendolyn Lavert, PhD | Contributor on Children’s Education and Literacy
Leadership is funny. The same people who once cheered for you will question you. The ones who admire your work will suddenly challenge your authority. And the ones who asked, “How did you get to be a principal?”—well, some of them will be the first to be mad when you start leading.
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Why? Because leadership is about responsibility, not popularity. The moment you lead, you disrupt comfort. And the moment you disrupt comfort, you become a problem to those who benefited from things staying the same.
But here’s the truth: Even when they are mad, we must continue to do the right things for our students.
Why Are They Mad?
It’s not just about you—it’s about what you represent. Leadership forces people to face themselves.
- Some people liked you until you held them accountable. They were fine when you were just another teacher, but now that you expect more, you’re “the problem.”
- Some people want the title, not the responsibility. They see leadership as a status, not a sacrifice. Your work ethic reminds them of what they don’t want to do.
- Some people resist change because it forces them to step up. Progress means effort, and effort means discomfort. Not everyone wants to grow.
See also Seven Inspirational Lessons from The Life of Jane Bolin
I remember the first time I made a decision that didn’t sit well with the staff. It was the right call—one that put students first—but suddenly, I wasn’t the “friendly” colleague anymore. I had stepped into leadership, and that meant stepping into resistance. That’s when I learned: You are not a real leader until someone is upset with you.
Leadership Begins with Knowing Yourself
Before you step into leadership, you have to understand not just the system but yourself.
That means:
- Learning your biases. No one likes to admit they have them, but we all do. The question is: Are you willing to confront them?
- Understanding the culture, you want to lead in. You can’t be an effective principal if you don’t understand the history, struggles, and needs of the students and families you serve.
- Knowing that approval is temporary. Today’s biggest cheerleader could be tomorrow’s loudest critic.
Lessons for Aspiring Leaders
If you want to be a principal, here’s what you need to know:
- Soak up everything about teaching and learning. You cannot lead if you don’t understand the craft.
- Get to know your students beyond their test scores. Their realities shape how they learn.
- Learn about parents and the community. You’re not just leading a school; you’re leading a village.
- Identify your biases and challenge them. If you don’t, they will shape your leadership in ways you may not even realize.
- Understand the culture of the school. A good leader doesn’t just step in—they step in with knowledge and respect.
- Develop a backbone. The moment you lead, someone will disagree with you. Stay firm in your purpose.
- Stay focused on students. If your decisions center on what’s best for kids, you can stand tall despite criticism.
Final Thought
Even when people are angry, we must stay focused on what’s right for students. Leadership is not about keeping people comfortable—it’s about ensuring that every child gets the education they deserve.
If everyone agrees with you, you’re not leading—you’re pleasing. And schools don’t need more people-pleasers. They need leaders bold enough to disrupt, strong enough to endure criticism, and focused enough to fight for what matters: the students.
Because at the end of the day, the greatest measure of leadership isn’t approval—it’s impact.
Learn How to Leverage Your Story through our Story To Asset Framework.
