Yes Alex Ikwechegh, We Now Know Who You Are

Austin Isikhuemen – Lagos, Nigeria 30th October 2024.

Nigeria’s path to true democracy lies on leaders who set a standard of integrity by upholding the very laws they create. However, recent allegations surrounding Hon. Alex Ikwechegh, a House of Representatives member for Aba North and Aba South, have cast a spotlight on the dangers of unchecked privilege and the erosion of public trust. This article delves into the unfolding controversy and what it reveals about the urgent need for accountability in Nigerian leadership.

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Echoing the sentiments of many Nigerians, Austin Isikhuemen, a seasoned commentator from Lagos, weighs in on the unfolding controversy with his article, “Yes Ikwechegh, We Now Know Who You Are.” His piece directly addresses Ikwechegh’s provocative question, “Do you know who I am?”

Yes Ikwechegh, We Now Know Who You Are

Nigerians watched in horror a video posted on social media by a fellow Nigerian who had a raw deal, putting it mildly, in the hands of a Nigerian elected to make laws for the peace, security, and good governance of Nigeria.

What is baffling is that the dealings we saw in the infamous video now trending worldwide were mostly illegal on the side of the so-called Honourable Alexander Ikwechegh. I would have used stronger terms like criminal, but I refrain from that because I am not a lawyer and may be unable to distinguish between a civil and criminal act.

Stephen, the Bolt driver delivering snails to a famished lawmaker who interchangeably calls himself Senator and later Member of the House of Representatives, displayed impressive self-control beyond belief.

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But for the video, no one would have believed that, in spite of the unwarranted provocation, physical abuse, blows to the chest and massive slaps, the driver kept calm and managed to keep asking the lawmaker turned terrorist lawbreaker to pay for the service he rendered. He did not even raise his voice!

Stephen is a study in calmness in the face of massive provocation. I could not have done what he did. Let us imagine for once that this was in the USA where they swear by their Second Amendment as the holy grail.

That driver would have gone to his pidgeon hole, as we call it in Nigeria, and on return to his assailant it would have become a one-sided story. God forbid! The honorable should be advised not to try this wayward behavior in Benin City!

Just what the hell did this Bolt driver, trying to eke out a living during these hard times, do wrong in this episode? I am unable to find any.  Why would this Ikwechegh man refuse to acknowledge the driver on arrival even while he saw him from where he was sitting outside?

Why would he feel too big to pick up his package but not feel too big to eat the snails later?  We must ask that those snails be brought as exhibits to the investigation panel. Wow, betide him if he has devoured them!

Could it be that Mr Ikwechegh was so hungry that he nearly went mental?  Do not laugh!  This hunger may have assailed the honorable to the point of going berserk. Hunger in the land is no respecter of status and can also afflict any lawmaker who has mismanaged his constituency allowance.

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I hear those beautiful belles in Abuja’s highbrow neighborhoods are considered by some as their own constituencies and the projects they demand can lead to bankruptcy.  It could also be that the snails were standing between the honorable and more serious loin arrangements that were looking interminably delayed. These are mere conjectures.

At some stage, the honorable called out to some lady out of sight for validation. It was as if he wanted her to know he was dealing with a poor man again as he probably usually does to massage his ego. 

We did not hear any call for restraint being voiced by the bodiless voice.  Who was that voice? Could it be the legal spouse or the object for which the snail procurement budget was passed?  She was an accomplice, or so it seems to me. Can the honorable unveil her to VDM, please?

I think the House Committee may also like to know if the honourable is ashamed to the a member of the Lower House. 

He falsely claimed that he was a Senator of the Federal Republic. It was long after he knew, or realized, that he was being recorded on video that he now pompously declared that he is a member of the House of Representatives. 

That was dishonorable indeed. The only other explanation could be that he was highly inebriated or under the control of those substances of interest to NDLEA. 

The honorable has probably been listening too much to those Abuja babes that call people like him ‘fine boy’ and it got into his head.  Asking a Bolt driver whether he knows who you are was strange. 

He did not have to know anything about a snail receiver other than someone who ordered snails because he could not cook the same at home. To think that the Bolt driver ought to know he is an untouchable that Nigeria is lucky to have as a lawmaker:

• That he can make Stephen disappear and no one can ask him any question about it.
• That he can be slapped, and the driver dare not respond.
• That he takes deliveries and dispatchers dare not ask for payments.
• That was expecting the driver to be God.

Besides, only an outlaw driver would know and accept to deliver snails to such an outlaw!

Now, Honorable Sir, we know who you are. You are now the most famous member of the House of Representatives. You love snails. You order them at odd hours. You beat up people who cannot fight back or protect themselves.

You sometimes claim you are what you are not. You feel sitting on a chair outside your house even inside your compound is infradig for your status.

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It could be that what you meant is that the driver should have entered your mansion to be awed by the interior decor and opulent accouterments!  You are not very good at hiding your ego even while tendering apologies, which, in most cases, may not be heartfelt.

You are lucky, your Honorable, that Stephen, your victim, is not from your constituency.   I would have been making a recommendation to have you recalled and replaced by him seeing that he is more befitting for that role when temperament, demeanor, and integrity – including paying for service rendered – are considered.

He also does not have the means or desire to make people disappear.  He would have made you disappear rather than taking those slaps.

Finally, since you have an unspent fifteen million naira disappearing budget, kindly settle the young man with five million per slap. That can make your malfeasance disappear and assuage the feelings of Stephen and the rest of us. That looks equitable to me.

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