The Vulture Anecdote And The JAMB Fiasco
The vulture laid eggs and they hatched into three chicks. Atop the giant Iroko tree that was the tallest in the forest perched their nest. Below, was a huge void at the bottom of which lay some sparse Awolowo shrubs and grasses rendered austere by the shade of the iroko which did not allow them to bask in the sun. The iroko tree was more than a hundred feet tall. It does not require much thinking why the vulture chose this abode to construct its nest and lay its eggs. Security.
The vulture’s nest is usually made of a few sticks cobbled together just enough to support its weight. It does not bother about other warmth-generating stuff like other birds do because its feathers are enough to keep it warm. It merely adds dry leaves to the mix when it is about to lay eggs. The story is told of how the mama vulture, on each return from hunting to provide food for its chicks, found them defecating on the nest. So, it warned the three of them sternly that they must never do that again, adding ominously that if they do not stop, it would join them in the practice, and they would see what would become of the nest!
It is said that the chicks continued in their dangerous bad manners and, one day, the mama vulture offloaded its own massive excrement on the flimsy nest and the nest went hurtling down the abyss. For the fledgling chicks that have yet to learn to fly properly, their fate was sealed. Their obdurate continuation of a dangerous bad habit obliterated their habitation and ultimately, their life.
The ongoing JAMB imbroglio
How could this story possibly relate to the ongoing JAMB imbroglio where a teenager was accused of forging her own JAMB result to claim the ultimate prize as the best candidate in the 2023 examination? There are a lot of parallels to be drawn and enough blames to go round even to those who are most vociferous in the “crucify her” gang. Come with me.
In my article I posted on my Facebook wall on 5th October 2022 titled “The Deadly FSARS Imbroglio: The Monsters We Create”, I excerpted part of Burna Boy’s hit track – The Monsters We Made – as follows:
You turn around and you blame
Them for their anger and rage
Put them in shackles and chains
Because of what they became
We are the monsters you made.
I surmised as follows:
“That this public expression of indignation is coming from the Presidency, our Presidency, years after citizens have been subjected to untold barbaric treatment, theft under gunpoint, harassment, extra-judicial killings and maiming by those paid to protect them is a glaring exemplification of the disconnect between the Government and the governed. How did trained policemen, with the mandate to protect society and maintain law and order, become outlaws and more feared by law-abiding citizens that they would rather face the criminals than come across some FSARS operatives? It is a long story really. Of the monsters we made….”
The girl in the JAMB story is now said to have conceded that the famous, or notorious, result was doctored. That is grossly condemnable. The act, not the teenager, and I will explain this my position. So, shield your swords, drop your cudgels and read to the end as intellectuals do before reaching a conclusion. Stopping here because of my position stated above is a sign of weakness, of one not used, or able to see the wider picture. Surely, you are not in that group. So, read on.
This young girl’s real score, as JAMB has shown, is way above, almost double, the score some Nigerian children enters the University with. She scored 249 whereas JAMB, notoriously known for setting low bars, have set 140/400 as cut-off point. That is 35% as pass mark! JAMB has no teenagers in their employ. The decision-makers there are all full-grown adults, and they cannot understand that 35% is even low for failures. There is no serious company in this country, except maybe the likes of NNP-something and CB-stuff that will consider inviting and recruiting a candidate who scored even 50% at an aptitude test!
Applying to enter Esigie College, Abudu, decades ago
When I applied to enter Esigie College, Abudu, decades ago, the cut-off for admission, under the respected Principal – Mr. C.K. Smith – was 70%. I was not taken even though I scored above that mark because the principal, in his wisdom for which I am eternally grateful, decided that I was too young for a Teacher Training College and going to a secondary school would give me a better future. He gave me a strong recommendation (letter of admission) to any grammar school of my choice. That was a teachers’ college where you graduate with TC II certificate to teach in a primary school. Yet the standard was that high! Now, see where we landed. Besides, it is even possible in today’s Nigeria for a child with 249 score to be left unadmitted while one with JAMB’s generous and ludicrous 140 score walks into the Campus triumphantly.
This young girl’s very respectable score was enough for her to be admitted, ceteris paribus. So, the motive for the alleged forgery cannot be admission. It must be the monetary prize given to the highest scorer. Other prizes and scholarships would naturally follow with State Governors using it as a publicity stunt to shore up their waning popularity by making some noises in the national political space. This girl that I saw and listened to, could not have conjured, and perfected this heist. She just was not capable of pulling this off.
It is therefore obvious that full-grown adults together with JAMB collaborators were involved in this fraud that nearly succeeded. If she didn’t make noise about coming first, perhaps she would have used the result slip to confuse the unwary. The question that has not been asked by the vociferous “crucify her” crowd is ‘how did she know the actual highest score’ that she deliberately bettered by a few marks so that she can be the winner of the first prize?
Only a JAMB official could have had that information because at the time this girl’s bogus print-out was made public, Nigerians had not even known who the actual winner in JAMB records was. JAMB needs to look inwards. There must be one of their officials who was eyeing, and salivating towards, his own share of the prize that was inevitably going to be won by the best-performing candidate. Who was this official? He must be fished out if we are to take JAMB seriously.
It is visible to the blind and audible to the deaf that in this JAMB conundrum that an interesting new phenomenon has surfaced. The young girl (I am deliberately leaving her unnamed) is being vilified more by those who, during the last political contestation yet to be bedded, took the position that their flag bearers’ forged certificates, funny dates of birth, doubtful schools attended and lack of certificates do not matter are the ones now leading the charge to tie the young teenager to the stake to face a volley of bullets?
Even the ones that claimed they would vote for a certain potentate if he provided a mere NEPA Bill! They are now in the trenches showing a lot of courage in the face of a very weak and vulnerable member of society who is obviously being used by their class. This is a classic portrayal of hypocrisy of the worst kind.
The social media is full of chest-thumping
Now, social media is full of chest-thumping and holier-than-though posts by adults who did not make 249 in their JAMB days. Even the half-baked who writes his post in extremely bad English has joined the fray. This horde includes, undoubtedly, those who are currently on their seats through bribery, beneficiaries of fuel subsidy scam, internet fraudsters, hawkers of government purchase orders obtained through unscrupulous routes, some professors who collect ‘blocking’ money and owners of fuel stations with illegally adjusted meters.
No one should be surprised that riggers and thugs and ethnic baiters in the last election would be holding their own stones to kill this hapless victim from Anambra State.
So, guys, no one in his right senses would support cheating. I do not. So, it used to be till Nigeria was turned upside down. When I wanted to leave teaching in a secondary school decades ago, I applied for the role of an Orientation Officer to what was then called MAMSER (now called National Orientation Agency) in one South-South State. I was the 12th and last interviewed and was told that I was the best candidate by far and that I got the job. I was told to go and resign and prepare to come to the State capital to resume.
You should get your employment letter in a few days, I was told. Weeks later, I managed to raise transport money and went back to the MAMSER office. I was told that the Director, who was not around during the interviews, returned from travel with a relative who had since filled the vacancy! That was an agency the government created with the sole purpose of re-orient citizens towards ethical behavior and integrity! It was just as well. I visited the office two months ago and the paints I saw in 1990 were still there and peeling off. Thank God they did what they did!
It is not yet uhuru. JAMB has even revealed that this girl’s case is the tip of the iceberg. Was JAMB itself not a cesspit of corruption and graft before Professor Oloyede got there? Has the humongous money appropriated to private pockets been returned by his predecessors? What makes us feel today that the place got sparkling clean just because Oloyede is there?
Why collect such high fees from poor parents?
They currently return huge sums in millions to the coffers of the Federal government. But, wait a minute, was JAMB set up as a revenue collection agency or they have lost sight of their mandate? Why collect such high fees from poor parents when you can conduct the exams at less than 25% of the current cost? Why, for God’s sake do students, both passed and failed pay more money to JAMB to be able to the results of the exams they have paid to write? Immoral in my view.
There is more work to do. JAMB and the rot there represents a microcosm of Nigeria today. Where are the fraudulent subsidy billionaires who put us in this quandary? Any names yet? Where is the Accountant General who thought he was Nigeria? Why are we all suddenly full of violent indignation over the one who cannot fight us nor fight for herself? She suddenly poses a National Security threat. What of those with pending EFCC cases suddenly inaugurated and ready to make laws for the rest of us? Did they call DSS for them too?
What has happened is that in Nigeria today, the mother vulture is the one defecating loads of poo in the fragile nest and the chicks have been complaining. One day soon, the nest could collapse and these fledglings, whose wings have been strengthened while learning how to fly online, would fly away while the arthritis-ridden mama and papa vultures would hit the ground, wondering what happened. Let the elders mend their ways and the youth would follow suit. That JAMB girl is a mere victim of the shenanigans of the adult folk who have no moral justification to cast any stone.
8th July 2023 – Austin Isikhuemen
Download the first chapter of The Storytelling Series: Beginners’ Guide for Small Businesses & Content Creators by Obehi Ewanfoh.
