Know Your Origin and Your Past Experiences: OWNING YOUR STORY FOR A DEEPER PURPOSE, Pt. 3
To truly embrace purpose-driven entrepreneurship and build a fulfilling professional life, it’s essential to reflect on your origin—where you came from and the experiences that have shaped your journey so far. Always remember that your past holds valuable insights, lessons, and moments of growth that are crucial to understanding who you are today.
Want to learn more about storytelling? Start by downloading the first chapter of The Storytelling Mastery.
Welcome to part 3 of Owning Your Story for a Deeper Purpose, a six-part comprehensive Article series that helps you dive deep into the power of your narratives as an entrepreneur and how to leverage it in your business and professional life.
This series of publications was extracted from OWNING YOUR STORY, A Five-Step Transformative Journey to Reshape Your Professional and Business Narrative for Success!
I hope you gained good value from the first two publications in this series and are willing to explore even more.
Delve Into Your Past to Uncover the Experiences
In this article, you will learn how to delve into your past to uncover the experiences that have shaped you into what you are today. Learn more with our “Own Your Story” program. It offers a structured path to your success in less than 90 days.
One quote has it that we are products of our past, but here is the key point to always remember: we don’t have to be prisoners of that same past. Our past experiences undeniably shape who we are, but they don’t have to define our future.
While our history influences our thoughts, behaviors, and circumstances, it doesn’t have to confine us. These and more are what we will explore in this second lesson of the course, OWN YOUR STORY.
Now, this is the point: By exploring your history, you will identify pivotal moments and turning points that have influenced your journey. Through this process, you will gain a deeper understanding of your motivations and values, thereby setting the stage for crafting a compelling narrative that truly resonates with your audience.
Before delving into your past, it’s essential to understand the significance of exploring your history. Your history holds valuable insights into the experiences, decisions, and pivotal moments that have shaped who you are today.
Dr. Myles Munroe, a renowned author and speaker, is one of my favorite motivational speakers. His teachings have had a profound impact on my journey of self-exploration and understanding my past and who I am.
You might also like to see Own Your Story and Unlock Client Connections Through Authentic Narratives
One of the most powerful messages he shares is the importance of introspection and self-discovery. To truly understand ourselves and our place in the world, Dr. Munroe emphasizes asking ourselves five key questions. Now, let’s quickly go through the five key questions and how we should apply them in our lives:
Question One: Who Am I?
This question urges us to reflect deeply on our identity, purpose, and values. It’s about understanding what drives us and what truly matters in our lives. For me, this meant taking a hard look at my experiences, beliefs, and motivations.
Do you remember what I shared with you earlier about my 2 weeks of experiences in a medically induced coma and how that has shaped what I am doing today? That has to do with how I see myself in the world and the contribution I have chosen to make in people’s lives.
Those experiences forced me to dig into my past to uncover the events and influences that shaped my life. Through this process, I began to understand who I am at my very core.
Question Two: Why Am I Here?
This question pushes us to consider our life purpose. What unique contribution can we make to the world? For me, this was a journey of recognizing my strengths and passions and understanding how they align with the needs of those around me.
It’s about finding that intersection where our abilities and the world’s needs meet. In my case, this question helped me see that I am here for a reason, and that reason is to use my unique gifts, whether you are considering the Obehi Podcast, my storytelling series, or a training program like this one, the intention is to make a positive impact.
Question Three: Where Am I Going?
You see, this is another crucial question. This one is about visualizing our future and setting goals and aspirations. We will talk more about this after this lesson when we consider life’s mission. I had to ask myself what legacy I wanted to leave behind and what kind of life I wanted to lead.
Do you want to own your story and leverage it in your business? Take this quick self-assessment survey to find out.
It required me to look ahead with hope and ambition, setting a path that aligns with my purpose and values. This forward-thinking mindset has been instrumental in helping me stay focused and motivated.
I said focused because until you are focused on where you are going, you are going to be distracted by all the noise out there. So, you need to know where you are going.
Question Four: What Do I Have?
This question is all about assessing our talents, skills, and resources. I had to take inventory of what I possess – not just in terms of physical or material resources, but also my inner strengths and capabilities.
You have a lot of resources that you can start tapping into today but are you able to take inventory of that?
Understanding what you have to offer can be crucial in figuring out how to leverage these assets to fulfill your purpose. It’s about recognizing your potential and using it wisely. And that leads us to the last question.
Question Five: What Should I Do?
This is the question of actionable steps. It’s about exploring the choices and decisions that align with our purpose and values.
For me, this meant making conscious decisions that support my goals and staying true to my core beliefs. It’s about being intentional with our actions and making sure they reflect who we are and what we stand for.
See also How To Set Effective Goals – Goal Setting Series
You see, Dr. Munroe’s emphasis on these five questions has been guiding me on a path of self-exploration and discovery and I’m sure it can do the same for you.
Identify key events and milestones
Now, pay attention. When exploring your history, take the time to map out your journey and identify key events and milestones that have shaped your personal and professional development.
This may involve reflecting on significant achievements, challenges overcome, and pivotal decisions made along the way. By creating a personal timeline, you can visualize the progression of your life and gain insights into the factors that have contributed to your current situation.
Exploring your history in this way allows you to recognize patterns, themes, and lessons learned that can inform your storytelling and help you communicate your unique story effectively.
Looking around recently, I came across a publication titled: All People Are Living Histories – which is Why History Matters. In the publication, the writer, Penelope J. Corfield affirms that communities speak languages that are inherited from the past. They live in societies with complex cultures, and traditions and religions have not been created on the spur of the moment.
See also Empowering Communities: The Role of African Diaspora Women in Small Business
Another thing I found quite interesting in Penelope’s work is her position that people use technologies that they have not themselves invented. Everyone is born with a personal variant of an inherited genetic template, known as the genome, which has evolved during the entire lifespan of the human species.
What this tells us is that we are always the product of our past experiences and sometimes the experiences of other people we have never met but have shaped the reality we are living in today.
Wherever you find yourself today and whatever is your situation, you need to understand that we cannot ignore the past if we want to lead a meaningful life in the present or project a better version of ourselves into the future. That is just a simple fact.
So, think of intentionally mapping out your journey, and the importance of delving deeper into specific events and experiences that have had a profound impact on your life. Take the time to reflect on these pivotal moments and consider how they have shaped your values, beliefs, and aspirations.
By exploring the deeper meaning behind these events, you can uncover valuable insights into your personal and professional identity.
So, learning to explore your history in this way will empower you to own and leverage your personal and professional stories. It will help to create a meaningful impact in your work and better connect with your audience on a deeper level.
Talking about connecting on a deeper level, it’s important to note that some people are not comfortable talking about their past experiences. If this happens to be your situation, do not worry. I will share some recommendations with you on how to overcome that.
Why are some people afraid to explore their past?
Sometimes last year, I published a biography about my eldest brother, and it’s titled “Emmanuel: Becoming Somebody.” Even though the book was about my brother, and not really about me, I sort of felt a little clenching when planning for the presentation.
“Why?” You might ask. After all, I have written several other books and I have done a lot of presentations, both in high schools, cultural centers and at different universities before now. So, what was so special about this presentation?
Well, what is special about the book is that it was the first time I was presenting my family that way. It was like unveiling the secret of my family to the entire world. But it turned out to be very enriching in the end.
So, I perfectly get it if you are one of the people who might be afraid of exploring their past experiences.
Now, let’s first explore some of the reasons before considering how to overcome the fears or limitations of your introspection.
First Reason: The Fear of Reopening Old Wounds
Many individuals are hesitant to explore their past experiences because they fear reopening old emotional wounds. Revisiting painful or traumatic events can evoke strong negative emotions such as:
Sadness,
Anger,
Guilt,
Or shame.
The prospect of experiencing these emotions again can be daunting, leading people to avoid delving into their past. But what are the real psychological impacts?
Emotional Distress: The fear of emotional distress can be a significant barrier, as people might not feel equipped to handle the intensity of the feelings that may arise.
Avoidance Behavior: To protect themselves from this distress, individuals may engage in avoidance behaviors. This might be to consciously or unconsciously steer clear of memories or situations that remind them of past pain.
See also The Power of Personal Stories: Creating Emotional Bonds with Your Audience
Second Reason: Fear of Self-Identity Disruption
Exploring past experiences can sometimes challenge an individual’s current self-identity. People may fear that confronting aspects of their past might change how they view themselves, leading to a sense of identity crisis or instability.
If you are interested in learning more about this topic, you might consider checking out one of my books, “Crisis Of Identity: How to Reinforce Your Personal Identity in 7 Days”.
The book deals exhaustively with the topic, citing instances from different experts in the field, case studies, and personal experiences to help you understand the topic of Identity Of Crisis. So, feel free to check it out at Obehiewanfoh.com.
Now the fear Of Identity Crisis can be particularly strong, especially if the past experiences conflict with the narrative the individuals have built about themselves. Now, here are the psychological impacts:
Cognitive Dissonance: When past experiences clash with current self-perception, it can create cognitive dissonance or a state of psychological discomfort caused by holding conflicting beliefs or values.
Threat to Self-Concept: For some, acknowledging past mistakes or negative experiences might feel like admitting personal failure, threatening their self-esteem and self-worth.
You might think these are only happening at the personal level but it’s not, it affects everything you do, including in the professional and business arena. This is so because it’s a deeply seated psychological framework and we need to deal with it. This leads us to reason number three.
Third Reason: The Fear of Judgment and Rejection
People might fear that exploring and sharing their past experiences can lead to judgment or rejection from others. They may worry about being perceived differently by friends, family, colleagues, or even themselves once their past is fully known. This fear of social and self-stigma can be a powerful deterrent.
If you are wondering about the psychological impacts of the fear of Judgment and Rejection, here are two of them:
Social Anxiety: Concerns about how others will react can trigger social anxiety, making individuals apprehensive about revealing personal histories.
Shame and Embarrassment: The anticipation of feeling ashamed or embarrassed by past actions or experiences can inhibit individuals from exploring their histories, as they strive to maintain their current social image and relationships.
How To Overcome the Fears Exploring Your Past
Are you afraid of exploring your past experiences, do any of the three reasons we have discussed sound familiar to you? Then consider the following remedies. I am not saying that any alternative approach is irrelevant, but these are good ones based on years of research and experience:
Seek Professional Support for Fear of Reopening Old Wounds
To overcome the fear of reopening old wounds, seeking support from a mental health professional can be highly beneficial. Therapists and counselors are trained to help individuals navigate painful memories in a safe and controlled environment.
See also Gloria Ogunbadejo On Mental Health Among The African Diaspora Community
Here are some practical steps for consideration:
Therapy Sessions: Regular sessions with a therapist can provide a structured way to process and make sense of painful experiences.
Trauma-Informed Care: Engage in trauma-informed therapy, which focuses on creating a sense of safety and empowerment while addressing past traumas.
Coping Strategies: Learn and practice coping strategies provided by the therapist to manage distressing emotions as they arise.
For fear of Self-Identity Disruption
To mitigate the fear of self-identity disruption, it’s important to approach self-reflection gradually and reinforce your self-worth throughout the process. Recognizing that your past experiences do not define your entire identity can help in maintaining a balanced self-concept.
Here are some helpful Practical Steps:
Journaling: Start with journaling small aspects of your past and gradually delve deeper. This allows you to process memories at your own pace.
Positive Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to reinforce your self-worth and remind yourself that everyone has a past that contributes to their growth and development.
Supportive Relationships: Engage with friends, family, or mentors who affirm your positive qualities and support your self-discovery journey. Note that not all family members might be helpful in this regard. So, look out for the right support.
Consider Building a Supportive Network
To address the fear of judgment and rejection, it’s crucial to build a supportive network of people who understand and accept you. Additionally, practicing self-compassion can help reduce the internalized fear of judgment. Try these practical Steps:
Support Groups: Join support groups where you can share your experiences with others who have faced similar challenges. This creates a sense of community and reduces the fear of being judged.
Open Communication: Communicate openly with trusted friends or family members about your fears. Their understanding and support can diminish the fear of rejection.
Self-Compassion Exercises: Engage in self-compassion exercises such as mindfulness meditation, self-kindness practices, and reflecting on shared human experiences to cultivate a forgiving and understanding attitude towards yourself.
By addressing these fears with appropriate solutions, you can create a more supportive and conducive environment for exploring and owning your stories. Ultimately, it will lead to your personal growth and fulfillment.
You might also like to see Purpose-driven Entrepreneurship: The Pathway to Sustainable Success and Personal Fulfillment
How To Explore Your Past for Your Own Good
Now, let’s assume you are ready to explore your past. Note that there is no one way to approach it. One effective way can be the personal timeline. What is a personal timeline?
Let’s look into that shortly. To learn more about exploring your past, consider checking out “Own Your Story” our program which offers a structured path to success in less than 90 days.
Personal Timeline
Creating a personal timeline is a powerful tool for exploring your history. This visual representation allows you to map out significant events, milestones, and transitions in your life.
You can use a variety of tools to create your timeline, from traditional pen and paper to digital platforms and apps. Here are some helpful tips for your consideration:
Include both personal and professional milestones.
Use color coding to differentiate between various types of events. For example, career achievements, personal challenges, educational milestones, and so on.
Reflect on how each event impacted your growth and development.
By plotting out key moments in chronological order, you can gain a comprehensive overview of your journey.
One of the key benefits of this approach is that it will enable you to identify patterns, themes, and turning points that have shaped your personal and professional development. So, give it a serious thought. Another helpful approach is Reflective Journaling.
Reflective Journaling:
Reflective journaling is another effective tool for exploring your history. To go about this, set aside dedicated time to write about your experiences, thoughts, and emotions that relate to specific events in your past. Here are a few prompts that can be helpful for your reflective journaling:
Describe a key event that significantly impacted your life.
What challenges have you overcome, and what did you learn from them?
How have your past experiences shaped your current skills and strengths?
Write consistently, aiming for a few times each week.
Be honest and open in your reflections.
Review your entries periodically to identify themes and insights.
You can use prompts to guide your reflections, such as recalling a significant achievement. This will help you in reflecting on a challenging experience or exploring a pivotal decision.
By practicing these tips and journaling regularly, you can gain deeper insights into the impact of past events on your life. It will also help you to uncover valuable lessons learned about professional and personal growth opportunities.
Another approach I have seen to work for many people is a Story Mining Worksheet. Let’s look into that and how you can use it in your situation.
Using a Story Mining Worksheet
A story-mining worksheet helps you systematically identify and analyze pivotal moments and turning points in your history. This structured approach ensures you capture the key events that have defined your path.
A good approach is to focus on decisions, challenges, and opportunities that have had a significant impact.
Consider reflecting on how these moments have shaped your current situation and what lessons you have learned. Here are a few steps you can put into consideration when using a story-mining worksheet:
- List out significant events and milestones in your life.
- Identify the impact of each event on your personal and professional growth.
- Reflect on the lessons learned and skills acquired from these experiences.
- Make sure to be detailed and specific in your descriptions.
- Consider both positive and negative experiences.
- Use the insights gained to understand how your past has influenced your present.
Remember it’s all about learning as much as possible about yourself. So, by creating a personal timeline, engaging in reflective journaling, and using a story-mining worksheet, you will gain a comprehensive understanding of your history.
Think about it. This is what this phase of the NBA storytelling technique is about, connecting the past to better understand the present and therefore the future that will come after.
See also Exploring The Diasporic Literature To Shape The Future – The Diaspora Storytelling Series
These methods will help you uncover the pivotal moments and experiences that have shaped who you are. Not only that, but they will also help provide a solid foundation for crafting a compelling and authentic story. So, approach them with intentionality and you will get results.
Conclusion on Your Origin – Where Did You Come From? OWNING YOUR STORY Pt. 3
You have successfully completed Step 2 of this training. What a transformative journey this has been! In this lesson of the course, you learn how to delve deep into your history, uncovering the pivotal moments and experiences that have shaped who you are today.
By exploring your past, you have gained valuable insights into the challenges you have overcome, the lessons you have learned, and the growth you have achieved.
Reflecting on your history has not only allowed you to understand your journey but also to see the unique narrative that sets you apart. It helps you understand that every success, setback, and turning point in your life has contributed to the person you are now.
As we move forward to lesson 3, where you will learn how to define your future and life mission, take pride in the depth of understanding you have reached about your past. This foundation will be crucial in shaping a vision that is true to your values and your aspirations.
Remember, your history is not just a record of where you have been; it’s a powerful narrative that can guide where you are going. Therefore, embrace your past, and let it fuel your passion as you continue this journey of self-discovery and purposeful storytelling.
Want to learn more about storytelling? Start by downloading the first chapter of The Storytelling Mastery.
