Parent’s Nightmare: “He’s Not a Dad” – Trinity Rodman Reflects on Her Strained Relationship with Father Dennis Rodman
Have you ever wondered what it takes to raise a child in a world that constantly challenges your values, identity, and sense of purpose? As a Nigerian parent raising a son in Italy, the questions of how to preserve the values that shape our cultural heritage, while simultaneously navigating the realities of living in a foreign land, can be overwhelming sometimes. You want to give them everything—success, happiness, and a deep sense of identity—but sometimes, despite your best intentions, the path might seem elusive.
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Can you avoid “screwing up” when the world around them is so different from the world you came from? As parents, we often carry a quiet, constant fear that we might fail to provide the stability and love our children need, especially when living as part of the African diaspora.
Trinity Rodman’s recent comments about her strained relationship with her father, NBA legend Dennis Rodman, serve as a stark reminder of how complicated parent-child relationships can become, no matter how much love or financial success might be present.
Her story is not just one of celebrity; it speaks to universal themes of absence, emotional neglect, and the constant yearning for connection. It’s a story that echoes for many of us—immigrants and children of immigrants—who struggle with building strong familial bonds amidst the cultural and systemic pressures of a new land.
In this article, we will explore what it means to raise children in a diaspora context, how to strike the right balance between cultural preservation and adaptation, and how to avoid the pitfalls that often lead to emotional distance and fractured relationships.
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Through the lens of Trinity Rodman’s story, we’ll also look at the challenges of being physically present but emotionally absent as a parent, and how this dynamic plays out both in the world of celebrity and in the everyday lives of African diaspora families.
The African Diaspora Family Structure: A Foundation of Resilience
For many African families, family values form the very bedrock of daily life. In Nigerian culture, for example, the importance of family cannot be overstated. A deep respect for elders, the extended family unit, and communal living are crucial components of the familial structure.
It’s a culture where the “village” truly raises the child, a concept that speaks to the collective responsibility that is shared in ensuring that children grow up with respect, discipline, and a sense of community.
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Yet, for many of us living in the diaspora—whether in Europe, the United States, or elsewhere—the preservation of these values can feel like an uphill battle.
‘He’s not a dad’: Olympic gold medalist Trinity Rodman opens up on strained relationship with father, Dennis Rodman
In an interview featured in a CNN article, Olympic gold medalist, Trinity Rodman opened up about her strained relationship with her father, NBA legend Dennis Rodman. Despite being the daughter of a five-time NBA champion, Trinity revealed the emotional toll of growing up with a father who, in her words, was “not a dad.”
During the conversation, Trinity shared how Dennis’s presence in her life was often superficial, with his actions falling short of what she needed emotionally. “He’s not a dad. Maybe by blood, but nothing else,” she said, expressing the pain of hearing his voice and the lasting impact of his emotional absence.
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Trinity’s story highlights the complex realities of a famous parent who, despite his wealth and global recognition, was unable to provide the stability and emotional support that a child needs.
She recalled moments of hardship, including times when she and her mother were forced to live in a car, and how Dennis, known for his wild lifestyle, prioritized parties and the spotlight over being a consistent father figure.
Despite these struggles, Trinity also spoke about the longing she felt for a connection with her father. In an emotional moment, she recalled a time when Dennis unexpectedly showed up at her soccer game after months of silence. Although she was initially furious, the encounter sparked a wave of emotion, leaving her torn between anger and a desperate desire for reconciliation.
Ultimately, Trinity’s story reveals how the absence of emotional connection in father-child relationships can create long-lasting scars. It also underscores the hope for healing, even after years of estrangement, as she continues to navigate the complexities of her relationship with her father.
More sore, the external pressures of adapting to a new society can often clash with the internal desires to pass on the traditions that form our identity. In Italy, where I’ve lived for nearly two decades, raising a son as an African immigrant means navigating a fine line between honoring my Nigerian roots and integrating him into a culture that may not always understand or respect those roots.
For example, many African families I know often emphasize academic success, respect for elders, and family cohesion, all of which can sometimes seem out of sync with the more individualistic values prevalent in many European and western societies.
The expectations are high: we want our children to be successful, not just academically, but socially, emotionally, and culturally. And so, we work hard to balance these expectations, but we also face a unique set of challenges: how do we teach our children to hold on to their heritage, while not making them feel like outsiders? It’s not as simple as it might appear.
Raising Children in the West as an African Immigrant: The Strain of Dual Identities
As immigrants, we face the daunting challenge of raising our children in a context that may not always understand or appreciate the values we hold dear. In Italy, for instance, there is a complex relationship with race, culture, and belonging that shapes the experience of African families.
Since 2013, I have had the privilege of interviewing members of the African community, particularly in northern Italy. People from countries like Cameroon, Ivory Coast, Morocco, Nigeria, Ghana, and Senegal, just to name a few.
Through these conversations, I’ve gained deep insights into their personal stories. And I can tell you, with absolute honesty, that their experiences are filled with challenges that outsiders may never truly understand, simply because they haven’t walked in their shoes. To learn more, consider checking out the two books from the research The Journey: Africans in Verona and The Color of Our Children.
The African diaspora in Italy is diverse and growing; in 2021, there were an estimated 1.2 million people of African descent living in Italy, many of whom face challenges in terms of integration and acceptance (ISTAT, 2021).
Children of African immigrants often experience the tension of being “too African” in the eyes of their peers, yet “too European” to fully belong to the cultures from which their parents came.
It is a disorienting experience of constantly straddling two worlds, neither of which may feel entirely like home. And yet, the expectations we have for them are high. We want them to be successful in school, to respect their elders, and to grow up with a strong sense of their African identity.
I repeat, it’s sometimes more challenging than it might appear and that can further be more complicated with the issues of discrimination and systemic racism in Italian society just like in many other euro-western societies.
In this cultural crucible, many African parents in Europe and Western countries fear that their children will lose touch with their heritage. As an African immigrant myself, the challenge is not just teaching my son the Esan language or Nigerian history but also giving him the tools to navigate the complexities of a racially diverse society.
In the midst of this, we also must think of how we can teach our children to be proud of their heritage, while also encouraging them to adapt to their new surroundings. How do we help them to understand the value of their culture without alienating them from their peers?
Raising Children with Intentionality: How to Avoid “Screwing Up”
In every culture, every family, and every individual’s life, there are moments when we feel we might be falling short. Immigrant parents often grapple with feelings of guilt:
- Are we giving our children the right balance of love and discipline?
- Are we showing them enough emotional availability?
- Are we teaching them the right lessons in resilience, identity, and cultural pride?
Trinity Rodman’s struggle to rebuild a relationship with her father highlights the importance of emotional consistency. Despite her anger, despite years of abandonment, she still yearned for a connection with Dennis. “After that, radio silence. I didn’t see him for, like… until this year” (CNN, 2024). The absence of communication and the emotional distance only deepened the rift.
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In a similar vein, Rolling Stone reported that the emotional embrace between Trinity and her father quickly went viral across social media and news platforms for a reason. Later, Trinity took to Instagram to share her thoughts, writing in the caption: “We don’t have the best relationship, but at the end of the day, he’s human, I’m human… he’s my dad, and I’m his little girl—that will never change. I will improve and look forward every day, as I hope he does.”
For immigrant parents, the struggle is real. There’s a constant balancing act between providing materially and emotionally. Yet the lesson is clear: children need more than just material provision; they need emotional support, consistent love, and an understanding of their identity that makes them feel valued both at home and in the world.
This doesn’t mean being perfect—it means being present. It means showing up emotionally even when life’s challenges make that difficult.
The Power of Forgiveness and Healing in Parent-Child Relationships
Despite the deep wounds caused by parental neglect, healing is always possible. Trinity Rodman’s story is not one of total estrangement but of hope for reconciliation. She shared the moment when she unexpectedly saw her father at her soccer match, an event that led to an emotional confrontation.
“He grabs my head and I just start bawling into his arms as if it’s a daddy-daughter (moment)” (CNN, 2024). The moment went viral, but it also showed that even in the face of past hurt, there is room for forgiveness and connection.
As immigrants raising children in foreign lands, we too must seek emotional healing—within our families, our communities, and ourselves. We must acknowledge the importance of consistent emotional presence and work to break the cycles of emotional distance that can sometimes plague our relationships with our children.
Conclusion: A Call for Holistic Parenting in the Diaspora
The road to successful parenting in the diaspora is neither simple nor linear and you need to understand that if you are a parent. As African parents living in Western society, we must navigate the complexities of maintaining our cultural heritage while ensuring that our children are equipped to thrive in their new environments.
Trinity Rodman’s story, painful yet inspiring, serves as a reminder that emotional presence is as vital as financial provision.
In a world where many immigrant parents find themselves stretched thin, we must remember that being present for our children—emotionally, mentally, and physically—is the greatest gift we can give them.
It’s not about being perfect; it’s about showing up, time and time again, even when the path feels uncertain. Raising children across cultures is a challenge, but it’s also an opportunity to build a bridge between generations, between worlds, and between identities.
In doing so, we ensure that our children not only survive—but thrive—amidst the complexities of a diverse and rapidly changing world.
Want to learn more about storytelling? Start by downloading the first chapter of The Storytelling Mastery.
