From Silence to Strength: Tolu Ekwe on Public Speaking, Healing, and Faith-Driven Marriage
We often believe our stories begin with our ambitions, our careers, or our first major success. But the truth is, our most powerful narratives are rooted in the soil of our childhood, in the memories of places and people that shaped us long before we knew our purpose.
Explore the Sankofa Journey: Retracing My African Roots.
For Tolu Ekwe, a Public Speaking Coach, Family Life Coach, and licensed Pharmacist, her journey from roots to relevance began in the serene, cool plains of Plateau State, Nigeria, a place she remembers as a paradise.
See the full episode with Tolu Ekwe
In a recent, deeply moving conversation on The Obehi Podcast, Tolu painted a vivid picture of her upbringing in Jos. “We grew up free to just run in the street and climb trees and pluck mangoes,” she shared. “We had this big orchard at the back of our house… it was just fun.”
It was a time of communal trust and natural abundance, where fresh milk, yogurt, and eggs were plentiful and life felt safe, simple, and sweet. This idyllic world was her foundation, a stark contrast to the turmoil that would later redefine her path and ignite her mission.
Tolu’s story is a powerful testament to how our deepest values are forged in the fires of change. It is a lesson in how choosing connection over comfort can lead us to our true calling, and how mastering our own voice is the first step toward a life of impact and legacy.
The Jump of Faith: Choosing Family Over Familiarity
The peaceful Jos of Tolu’s childhood did not last forever. The “ugly years,” as she calls them, brought religious and ethnic crises, burning down the once-bustling Terminus Market and replacing the air of freedom with fear.
See also The Challenges of Agriculture in My Beautiful Jos, Plateau State, Nigeria
This profound shift in her environment coincided with a pivotal moment in her personal life. Her husband’s career was taking him to different cities, and she faced a choice that many entrepreneurs and professionals grapple with: stay with the stability of her own career in Jos or leap into the uncertainty of a new life to keep her family together.
For Tolu, the decision was guided by a core value she had long held. “I always believed that if it ever came to a choice between my family and my career, I would choose family,” she explained. “It was my personal choice and decision.” She left the home she knew and loved to join her husband in Abuja, a move she describes as a “jump by faith.”
It wasn’t a move toward stability; at the time, her husband’s situation was far from settled. But it was a move toward unity, a powerful act of prioritizing her most important connection.
This decision is a cornerstone of Tolu’s story. It demonstrates a profound understanding of what it means to build a meaningful life and legacy. For many in the African diaspora, the tension between individual ambition and collective well-being is a familiar challenge.
Tolu’s choice reminds us that true strength often lies not in clinging to what is secure, but in courageously stepping toward what matters most. It is in these moments of vulnerability that our character is revealed and our purpose clarified.
Lessons from a Mother’s Love: The Foundation of Voice and Values
To understand Tolu’s passion for helping others find their voice, one must first meet the woman who was her first and most influential mentor: her mother. Tolu speaks of her with a reverence that transcends time.
Her mother was a woman who, like Tolu, chose family first, leaving her job at a hospital to raise her children. She started a small poultry farm that, through her resourcefulness, blossomed into a successful venture.
But it was her constant presence that left the deepest mark. Tolu shared a touching, humorous memory of her and her siblings screaming in terror at a stuffed toy rat, unable to move until their mother came in from the poultry house to save them.
“My mom was always there,” she recalled, her voice thick with emotion. She was the anchor, the provider of unique meals whose recipes now only exist in Tolu’s memory, and the embodiment of unwavering support.
Her mother’s life was a lesson in quiet strength and resourceful leadership. She was a woman who built a world for her family, brick by brick, with love and dedication. This powerful model of feminine strength and nurturing leadership is the bedrock of Tolu’s work today.
It’s why she is so passionate about empowering women to overcome self-doubt and reclaim their confidence. When you own your story, you honor the stories of those who came before you, carrying their legacy forward in your own unique mission.
From Healing Relationships to Building Godly Marriages
Tolu’s personal journey of faith, family, and finding her voice flows directly into her professional calling. As a certified marriage coach, she helps couples navigate one of life’s most profound and challenging relationships.
Her desire to do this work stems from her own youthful search for models of happy, thriving marriages. “It was very important to me that I had a happy home,” she said, “otherwise it was all or nothing for me.”
Today, she channels that conviction into helping others build the strong, purpose-driven marriages they desire. She focuses on the crucial element of communication, noting that many problems arise because men and women process the world differently.
See also The Leader’s Currency: Wielding Influence and Diplomacy in the African Diaspora – Dr. Marcia Thomas
“A man is marrying thinking he’s marrying another man,” she explained, highlighting the common but mistaken assumption that our partners think and feel exactly as we do.
Her coaching addresses two key groups:
- Those preparing for marriage: Tolu equips them with the right mindset and information, helping them align on goals and expectations before they commit. As the Bible says, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”
- Those already married: Whether they feel bored and stuck in a routine or are facing deep conflict, she helps them see from their partner’s perspective, spice up their connection, and improve the quality of their relationship.
Her work is a form of healing, helping individuals use their voices not as weapons, but as tools for understanding, connection, and growth. It’s a practical application of self-mastery through the power of storytelling, where learning to articulate your needs and listen to another’s is the key to building a shared legacy.
Your Voice is Your Power: Take the Next Step
Tolu Ekwe’s journey from the peaceful fields of Jos to a purpose-driven life in Abuja is a powerful reminder that our stories are our greatest assets. Her life demonstrates that by embracing our roots, honoring our values, and bravely finding our voice, we can transform our personal experiences into a platform for profound impact.
Her story is one of many powerful conversations featured on The Obehi Podcast, where entrepreneurs and professionals from the African diaspora and beyond share their journeys of turning life into legacy. If Tolu’s message resonates with you, it’s a sign that it’s time to take action in your own life.
Here is how you can begin:
- Connect with Tolu Ekwe: If you are seeking to build a stronger marriage or find your confidence in public speaking, you can learn more about her work on her website. Her co-authored novel on infidelity, Raging Waters, is available on Amazon and offers deep insights into navigating marital challenges.
- Explore Your Own Story: What pivotal moments and core values have shaped your journey? Obehi Ewanfoh’s Story to Asset Framework is designed to help entrepreneurs like you identify these key narrative elements and transform them into powerful marketing tools that attract your ideal clients.
Your voice has the power to heal relationships, build communities, and create a lasting legacy. It’s time to own your story and speak your truth with confidence and clarity.
